Ouch!

Is it possible to break a finger through over-enthusiastic cleaning, do you think?

I intended to clean the bathroom but decided to do the dishes first and for some reason ended up spring-cleaning the kitchen.

Because I've made him get rid of the shed that was outside our back door Husband wants a shelf in the kitchen to keep essential tools 'and stuff', and while I was cleaning out a space I came across my shoe-cleaning basket.

To look at it you'd think we must be possessed of the shiniest shoes in the world. Much as I'd like to encourage that illusion honesty compels me to say that I never clean shoes.

Husband will occasionally polish his work shoes but apart from that ...

I blame Husband. My gramps always used to clean my shoes for me so I assumed Husband would take on that role. As it turned out I was the one who had clean the children's shoes for school. Huh!

But you know what it's like. You buy a pair of shoes and the girl says, 'Would you be interested in this special polish, especially made for your shoes that will keep them in shop-new condition?' She doesn't point out that it only applies if you actually use it, along with some elbow grease. But with a misplaced enthusiasm I think, yes, I'll look after these shoes if I have the right polish, and I buy some. At three times the price I could get it in the supermarket. And I take it home and put it in my shoe-cleaning basket. Where it stays. Like that tube of trainer gel. I must have had that for fifteen years and it's still unopened.

Honestly, who cleans trainers? (Now you're all going to say that you do, aren't you?)

So my trainer cleaner is there alongside dubbin, light tan polish, suede protector, navy blue polish, patent treatment (patent?!!) and countless little packs of shoe polishing kit Husband has brought home for hotels. Plus special brushes, ordinary brushes and stud removers.

Realistically the only things we use are the black polish and brush. So why haven't I thrown the rest away in my spring-cleaning frenzy?

Because they're all full. And I might need to use them one day. And that'll be the day that heralds the arrival of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.