It doesn't pay to upset me

Daughter was married three years ago on Valentine's Day. In the weeks before (our organisational skills lack ... organisation) they were trying to decide where to spend their wedding night, and I suggested Norton House, a rather posh local hotel complete with four-poster beds.

Harvey, daughter and I were on our way back from a walk around the cliffs one day and we decided to call into Norton House and make enquiries (Harvey stayed in the car). There was a man on the desk to whom we explained what we wanted; I could tell from the way he was looking at us that the hotel was going to be full for the likes of us. Sure enough, without even making the pretence of checking in the book,he said it was fully booked what with it being Valentine's Night.

A few days later, I phoned Norton House, spoke to a woman, asked if they had a room for Valentine's Night and she said, 'yes, we have several available.'

At the time I was writing a column on our wedding preparations for the local paper. I told this story but, to my disgust, the paper edited out the name of the hotel.

Still I vowed we'd never go there again.

Then last year my uncle, who lives close to NH, invited us for a meal and took us there. There was no sign of the snobbish man and the food was very good. It's also somewhere rather special for a special meal - like an anniversary.

We decided to go there on Saturday.

The first person we saw when we arrived was snobby man. He brought our menus and said the special that night was sea bass on a bed of apple and parsnip. I didn't really need to look at the menu (except for starters and puddings) after that: sea bass is one of my favourite fish.

When he came back for our order I said I'd have the sea bass special; he says, 'ah, yes, that's with apple and fennel.'
'Fennel?' says I.
'Oh, no, apple and parsnip,' says he.
'That's okay then because I don't like fennel.'

It's one of these places that gives you a 'free' appetiser, in this case, tomato with salmon mousse (grainy). Then our starters. Mine was fine, but husband - who has some experience of food - said, 'This is the worst starter I have ever had.'

It was supposed to be crab-stuffed ravioli with a tomato and basil sauce. The pasta was bland and tough; they had forgotten to put the crab in; and the sauce was glutinous.

Main course arrived. Sea bass on a bed of apple and ... you've guessed it, fennel.

After it all, did we complain? No, we crept away like good Britishers. But we will never ever go back there again. (Unless there is a change of ownership and chef.)

There, I have got it off my chest now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Husband tried to tell me that I didn't need a new computer, it was just the monitor and we had several old ones in the attic. He brought one down, set it up, and, what do you know? Exactly the same problem: terrible picture, stripey screen. 'You need a new computer,' he said. 'Or maybe we could buy a new disc or ...'

I pointed out that neither of the CD drives works properly, and then Younger Son joined in. He reminded me that, for the last eighteen months, we have not switched the computer off as switching it on again is a major problem.

Husband gave in: we have ordered one, on special offer, from Dell. It wasn't until after we had paid that Dell told us it would take up to 10 days to be delivered. Ten days of this screen.

Could drive a woman crazy.

And that reminds me of the comments made by Chris yesterday morning. To the church at large he said something along the lines of, 'To be on the same wavelength as Liz Hinds is not something we should aspire to.'

He could regret saying that.