unless you're sure you want to hear the answer.
I thought it was just my short-distance vision that was going but today I mistook a leaf for a chicken. However it was a very good impression the leaf was doing.
More seriously, I started talking to God in "". As if he needs to have it explained to him.
In September I cut down on my out-at-work hours in order to spend more time writing. In the three months since then, I have achieved nothing. I have piled up the rejection slips and frustration. So today I asked God if I should be doing something else. Get a proper job, do some sensible with my time.
Maybe - no, definitely - I could spend my writing days more constructively/efficiently. But maybe I should not be allowed the privilege of writing days until I have proved myself. So not having so much time to write but writing more in that time.
But I asked for a clear answer, a definite alternative. I don't know if I will like it but it is God who has gifted me writing opportunities before in my life. I am not the sort of person who takes the initiative; life happens to me not the other way round. I drift and God hands me a goody on a plate. I'm hoping this is what he will do now.
But maybe it is time to give up silly ideas of being 'a writer' and rejoin the real world.
3 comments:
Liz don't beat yourself up about it. In my experience the things that God wants for me always take longest and seem hardest and the way of the Devil is all too easy. You've probably got to learn an important lesson before your published. My advice is to hurry up and learn it!
You're very fortunate to be able to have time for writing, so be thankful for it and knuckle down! God can't give you self-discipline missy. That's why it is called self-.
That wasn't meant to sound so harsh. But what do you want God to do - strike the editors with lightning until they realise that they had better accept your work? That would be quite good but it is not really God's role. I know, I know, I know it is extra-hard to sit and write when you feel that it won't work but pray for determination, and keep going. Your novel is brilliant! Every famous author in the world had rejections by the barrel before they hit the big time. Now come along, and make us all rich.
Liz, we must be traveling in the same boat (except I still have a full-time job). Where is my writer's discipline, dammit? About three weeks ago, I started getting up at 5am and writing until 6:30, when I'd have to head for the shower, and to the office by 8.
That scheduled has "tapered off" (I'm being so kind to myself -) this past week. I'm blaming it on Thanksgiving. Still I've no excuses as of 4pm Thursday, when all my houseguests left. I spent yesterday drinking tea and reading in front of the fireplace. If I'm a "Writer," shouldn't every fiber of my being be drawn to pounding away on my laptop? And today? Well, I've just rousted my lazy ass outta bed - woke up early, did a little reading, then back to sleep. Am I planning to write later? Um, probably not. Or maybe I will.
Can we convince ourselves that we're in a calming, pulling-thoughts-together period in our writing?
Whenever I get frustrated about how long I'm taking with my writing, I remember the phone call from a good, good friend three years ago: "Mary! Remember that book I've been writing for eight years? Harper's is publishing it!" OK, so, Liz - 8 years.
Could I write faster? Yeah - I could've finished this puppy three months ago. Would it have been the best I can do? No. The longer I take, the more edges and turns I find in the story.
Maybe our procrastination is vital to our writing process.
Or maybe we're just lazy. Sigh. I can't figure it out.
Great taste in blog backgrounds, by the way. ;-)
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