Monday, June 04, 2007

It'll be gnomes next

If you recall I recently entered a short story competition. It was run in conjunction with The People's Friend magazine, which bills itself as the 'The famous story magazine'. Each week it contains about six short stories plus a couple of serials and as such it's the probably the largest market around, so it's a good one to get into. Competition entrants were offered a free copy of the mag, which arrived this weekend.


Now the People's Friend is very gentle and traditional. No celeb gossip here, just a weekly rumination on village life from the vicar and adverts that reflect its audience. I sat in the garden at lunchtime browsing through it and reading the stories to try and work out where I'm going wrong.


And that's when I came across this advert for casual trousers in 'pull-on style with back elastication'. 'Mm,' I thought, 'they look comfy.'


I sat up suddenly and slapped myself several times across the face.


It was the second time in three days that I'd had a middle-aged moment. On Saturday, walking through the village, I spotted an outdoor clock cum thermometer. 'That would look nice in the courtyard,' I thought. And then pulled myself up. Oh dear, what is happening to me? I'm turning into a mother-in-law!


P.S. If you have an outdoor clock/thermometer, I apologise. These were particularly twee and I'm sure yours isn't.
xxx

9 comments:

Heidi Grether said...

You are funny!!! I use a handkerchief and was aghast one day when I did not have a pocket, so I stuck the hankie in my sleeve cuff JUST LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER used to!!! Oi.

I do love an outside thermometer though. Numbers fascinate me. Though I never can keep my checking account balanced!

Anna said...

What's wrong with comfy trousers? Or outdoor thermometers? Hm, nice and sensible, both.

Shades said...

Some definitions from Jeff Green:

Blokes become middle aged when they tuck their shirt tails into their underpants.

"Strangely comfortable!"

Also, taking a thermos & picnic table for lay-bys.

"I'm not paying Cafe prices..."

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

You have "middle aged moments" - I have "British moments"!

DeeJay said...

Did you also notice that the trousers are the obligatory middle aged BEIGE!

I have an outdoor clock/thermometer that my son gave me for Christmas last year but I simply cannot bring myself to hang it up

chux said...

Those trousers look like they might even fit me! ha ha

Yer I agree with you stay away from these sorts of items for as long as you can.

Liz Hinds said...

hattigrace, I stick my hankie in all sorts of places: up my sleeve, down my cleavage ...

Anna, you are too young to approve of elasticated trousers!

Delicolor, good quotes. I have some friends who take their own alcohol out with them.

Welshcakes, I'm sure British moments are more acceptable!

We're not beige sort of people, are we, ageis and chux?

jmb said...

What do you mean an outdoor clock and thermometer? I'm a modern woman with an indoor weather station connected to the atomic clock and with a sensor outside giving me the outdoor temperature and pressure etc. Not at all twee!

Liz Hinds said...

That sounds very high-tech, jmb! Not at all twee.