Thursday, June 14, 2007

Cleaned to death

Following on from my earlier post, Daughter and I were talking about death.

I hope my death is sudden and quick. I don't do brave. Were I to suffer a long painful illness I would be such a whimpering, sorry-for-myself, miserable, coward, that when my death did come, I'd have no friends left to attend my funeral.

So, assuming my end is quick, I started thinking about cleaning, which is what I am supposed to be doing right now. Just imagine if I dropped dead after I'd spent a day cleaning: what a waste that would be.
'How did she spend her last hours?'
'Cleaning.'

Then again, at least the house would be clean if anyone called in to offer their condolences. They would go away with a good impression of me. Would anyone be fooled though? Not the dedicated cleaners who'd have seen the dust on the skirting and the fingermarks on the windows.

No, so perhaps I shouldn't do any more cleaning in case I die today.

18 comments:

Anna said...

Why are you cleaning? Are you expecting someone?

Liz Hinds said...

Huh!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Oh, it would be a waste of cleaning, wouldn't it? Don't go and die today, Liz! Simi always gives the game away when I start cleaning: she goes to the window because she knows someone must be coming!

Liz Hinds said...

Children and dogs! They know us too well!

Anonymous said...

But are you wearing clean underwear?

Granny always used to worry about the undertaker/doctors/emergency services/ last rites man seeing her in dirty knickers.

Having done a short stint as a corpse-washer in my student vacation days, I was able to assure her that the majority of corpses shat themselves anyway :-(

"A short stint" ? Yes, I quit when I got my first bag of motorway parts to wash; couldn't stomach it :-(

DeeJay said...

ease don't die yet Liz we would miss you so much.

Dirty knickers? How do you know that Liz wears them?

Anonymous said...

you are a really miserable so and so

mdmhvonpa said...

Heroic Death Fantasy? Cleaning?

Naw, crashing the space-shuttle into the invading alien mother-ship and saving the earth ... yep.

Liz Hinds said...

Anonymous, have you read my blog?!

I always wear clean underwear. And keep my best for going out in case of being taken to hospital. Although my clean underwear didn't do me much good when I was thrown off a motorbike on a dual carriageway near Croydon.

And I'm not planning on going anywhere for a long time!

madm, but how could you top the Independence day speech before you left?

Maria said...

I thought that is why we are always supposed to wear clean underpants! :x lol

Don't waste a day thinking about what's to come!

m

Lee said...

I'm not quite sure how to reply to this post...but one thing is for sure *I* will make sure I don't linger on and on!

Stop all that cleaning, Liz...you're making me feel guilty! Although, I did clean my car yesterday...and that's quite a milestone!

DeeJay said...

Hi Liz,

I don't know if you play the tagging 'game' but I have tagged you - see my blog http://ageisallinthemind.blogspot.com/

Wayward Son said...

Personally, I am enjoying being clean. But I guess it's not the kind of clean you are writing about here.

I wanted to thank you for your kind words on my blog. If you follow my commenting elsewhere you'll find that, rightly or wrongly, I am a big enthusiast of people's ability to do what they need and want to do. I can't, however, become enthused about your cleaning your house. I imagine that is because I know you are busy with the job of being kind.

We all have our priorities!

WS

Anonymous said...

In some ways, women think different about death than men do. I, like you, want it quick also. I've told my wife to just put me outside on trash pickup days, to save the expenses. I'm sort of joking, but I don't want a service or memorial. Just a creamation and then do with the ashes as she will.

I'm reminded about a cartoon where a little boy is looking up at his mother. (She probably asked if he had clean underwear on) He says, "If I was to get hit by a care I would probably shit my paints anyway."

Annie Wicking said...

Love it, Thank you, now I have a great reason not to be cleaning and to spend the rest of my valuable time writing... I might die...

Great Blog!

Best wishes

Annie

Anonymous said...

Ya know what, Liz? Nobody cares but you. So give it up. Let us say she went out with a smile on her face because she was having so much fun NOT cleaning...

Ruthie said...

Your mind works the same sick way mine does.

I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Just saying.

Mauigirl said...

I am so with you, Liz! Same goes for work, as far as I'm concerned. I always like the saying "No one ever lay on their deathbed and regretted that they didn't spend more time at work." Life is short, and we should enjoy it all we can! For some, having a clean house is part of enjoyment. But it can certainly be overdone!

As for death, I too would like it to be sudden; but I mean immediate. If it isn't immediate, I would like it to be something gradual but not that painful, like maybe heart disease/heart failure. At least then I'd have time to get used to the idea! I think the worst would be to think you were fine and then discover you had a deadly cancer that would kill you in two weeks. Sudden? Yes. But you'd KNOW about it and wouldn't have time to make your peace with it!