Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Barking mad

I have determined the origin of this phrase. It describes a dog who keeps barking for no reason at all. Alternatively it describes the state to which the owner of said dog is driven. It is usually followed by violent behaviour.

After the wind and rain of the last few days, it is glorious here today. The colour of the air is more springlike than autumnal.

Must remember to wash today. I wonder if forgetting to wash is symptomatic of ageing. Which reminds me, I was flicking through a book about French women recently. It tries to explain why they are inevitably chic-er than their British counterparts.

It concludes that it is partly the fact that they are born with a certain arrogance, believing they are beautiful, but also they work at it. A typical Frenchwoman would never go out in trainers and jogging trousers or without their hair perfectly coiffed. They spend a lot of money on good clothes and accessories. They wouldn't be seen dead in M&S briefs but believe that feeling alluring begins at the basics.

Which makes me wonder what has happened to all those French women you see in little towns throughout the countryside, dressed from head to dowdy toe in washed-out-black and with more wrinkles than you could throw a pie at. Maybe there is a French Department for Elegance that has ruled that at the first sign of a droopy bum or unbrushed hair in public, the guilty party must, without delay and with due compliance, move to a designated area deep in the countryside. Inspectors are employed to make random visits to homes to ensure they're not harbouring a victim of age and lost fashion-sense. Severe penalties are imposed on those who rebel.

More tales of the strange - but strangely entertaining - behaviour of my spellchecker. It suggested changing Frenchwoman to Frenchman. Garlic and Gaulloise, no thanks.

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